2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
