Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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