and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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