What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
