mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
