I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Randomize
