i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
