I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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