I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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