It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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