Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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