I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
