I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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