the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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