After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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