Three words: puerto rican gang bang
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
