Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
sex in a hospital.. check
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
