so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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