got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
