it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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