How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize