And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
