doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
