you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
