I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
