Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
we're so committed to being not committed
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I had to cum in my sink.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
