Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
