Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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