I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
