I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
