1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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