You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We have so much sex to catch up on
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Two words: blizzard sex
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
