Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
