I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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