Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
