I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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