We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she smelled like a LAN party
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
