oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
