me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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