Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
