I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
