So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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