He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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