its not stalking. its research.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
