Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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