dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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