alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize