fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize