Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Randomize
