you turned your livingroom into a bong?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
