i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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