I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize