yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
