i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
