Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So here I am, sexting at work.
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