pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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