she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize