If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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