my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
