...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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