she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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