my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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