Whatcha textin bout Willis?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
