So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
