I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
