I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
