soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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