I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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