If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize