I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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