I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
