waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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