A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize