i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
